'The Huntsman: Winter's War' - Review

★ ½ ☆ ☆ ☆

Cedric Nicolas-Troyan brings this Snow White and The Huntsman spin-off to the screen with twice the effects but half the fun. Narratively sandwiching Rupert Sanders’ film, it details the story of Chris Hemsworth’s Huntsman, Eric, in the events before and after the fall of the evil queen Ravenna (Charlize Theron). Taken from his family as a child, Eric is trained (alongside Jessica Chastain’s Sara) to serve Ravenna’s sister; embittered ice queen Freya (Emily Blunt). When emerging love is discovered between the two warriors they are cruelly separated, leaving Eric alone as the glowering grump we encountered back in 2012.

The film then makes an ungainly leapfrog of seven years, to the post-Ravenna era. Eric is instructed via an utterly wasted Sam Claflin to track down the mystical mirror, now stolen from Queen Snow White’s castle. Kristen Stewart’s Joan of Arc-style interpretation is apparently more interested in moping alone in a tower, her face unsubtly hidden from view in a fumbled attempt to cover up the Twilight star’s absence. Eric accepts his task, aided by dwarves Gryff and Nion (Rob Brydon and Nick Frost), but a re-appearance by Sara threatens the quest.

Somewhere in the depths of YouTube, there exists one of my earliest film reviews: a video appraisal of Snow White and the Huntsman. I’ll admit to some nostalgic interest in a sequel, but only to illustrate how misleading such nostalgia can be. If this is to be the sandwich to Snow White’s ample filling, the bread has long since gone stale: how any franchise can swap Kristen Stewart for Emily Bunt and Jessican Chastain only to decline in quality is baffling. 

To be fair, it’s not completely their fault: the script is a dog-eared, post-Lord of the Rings mish-mash of po-faced fantasy gobbledegook and Hobbity dwarf gags. Chastain is saddled with a ludicrous accent that resembles Scottish the same way that Christopher Lambert was ‘Scottish’ in Highlander. Blunt takes the role of ice queen a little too literally with a stiff gaze and shiver-laden delivery; effectively an evil Frozen’s Elsa with less life than said computer-drawn character. 

Hemsworth, his dwarven companions and Theron appear to be from another film entirely, but at least it’s one that might be cracking a smile here or there: the camera practically swoons when Eric is re-introduced, massive axe and playful grin in full swing. Sheridan Smith raises a laugh or two as a foul-mouthed female dwarf (no, I can’t believe I just typed that phrase, either), whilst Frost and Brydon have enough innate likeability to carry us through a mostly joyless journey.

As the climax approaches in a sea of blizzardy CG effects, even Theron’s delightfully savoured cackles can’t drown out the audience’s internal nit-picker, and glaring problems in formalism give way to confusion over sheer logistics: how do Freya’s horse-borne armies climb down the massive cliff in front of her castle? Why did Ravenna not call on her sister during the previous film? Why is Jessica Chastain’s outfit one sword swipe away from fetish wear? All these issues and more lend the final confrontation a distinct lack of tension, ending not on a bang or a whimper but rather a sigh, as Liam Neeson’s gravelly narrator returns to comfort us with the knowledge that it’s all mercifully over.