Chris At The Pictures

Note: these are based on UK release dates

10. Sinister 2 – The beigest movie ever.

Worst bit: That by technicality, I have to call it a ‘horror’ movie

Full review here

9. Jupiter Ascending – That was your last chance, Wachowskis, and you royally blew it.

Worst bit: “Bees can sense royalty”

Full review here

8. Seventh Son – Oh, great, another teen franchise based on a boo-zzzzzZZZZZZZZZZ

Worst bit: Jeff Bridges trying to speak English

Full review here

7. Taken 3 – Remember when Liam Neeson punching foreigners was fun? The film-makers didn’t.

Worst bit: Forest Whitaker’s evil rubber-band

Full review here

6. Knock Knock ­– Keanu Reeves is Nicolas Cage.

Worst bit: Eli Roth is still making films

Full review here

5. Fantastic Four – I’ve never seen a movie more determined to kill itself.

Worst bit: The spark of a good idea being snuffed out

Full review here

4. Mortdecai – Enough to make you run home and shave your whole body.

Worst bit: It’s a hard choice between Johnny Depp, Johnny Depp and Johnny bloody Depp

Full review here

3. Solace – Forgot this existed? I think the actors have, too.

Worst bit: Not sure, it probably happened while I was asleep

Full review here

2. Pixels – A corporate product wearing the freshly harvested skin of an innocent short film.

Worst bit: Too many to choose from, so just draw up a chart of every scene and throw a dart.

Full review here

1. Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension 3D – I know what you’re thinking: “Really, it’s not worth getting that annoyed about, is it?”…you didn’t have to watch it.

Worst bit: Active extortion of the audience.

Full review here