Chris At The Pictures: remake
Showing posts with label remake. Show all posts
Showing posts with label remake. Show all posts

Friday, 29 September 2017

'Flatliners' - Review

9/29/2017 09:39:00 pm 0
'Flatliners' - Review

★ ½ ☆ ☆ ☆

In a revelation as inevitable as the “dead on arrival” gags accompanying its reviews, this sequel to Joel Schumacher’s 1990 thriller is as pointless as it is sterile. Five medical students become obsessed with triggering their own near-deaths in attempts to capture evidence of the afterlife. After initial highs and cognitive awakenings, the group find themselves hunted by the ghosts of their individual pasts.

The post-flatline powers exhibit themselves in trust fund hunk Jamie (James Norton) as increased proficiency in medical practices, whilst in the three lead women (Ellen Page, Nina Dobrev and Kiersey Clemons) as a sudden desire to get into Jamie and Ray's (Diego Luna) pants. Though they each have their own unique traumas to shape the apparitions, increasingly tiresome jump-scares and dark corridors morph them all into interchangeable quivering wrecks by the end. Courtney (Page) at least has some of her character fleshed out (the opening sequence clues us into the revelation she withholds from her peers, so they’ll indulge her experiment), but it’s all for nothing come the final act.

Luna plays the token sceptic, and is immediately engaging to the point that he almost pulls the whole enterprise together, though his hairstyle (perhaps in unspoken homage to the original’s fabulous array of wild wigs) is a choice almost as poor as his recent decision to work with Woody Allen.

A more befuddling decision is made by the filmmakers to include Kiefer Sutherland, reprising his role from the original as the students’ mentor. Again, it’s all for naught: never does he factor into their decision to explore flatlining, investigate them, or even deliver a knowing sermon. It’s the screenwriters showing they care enough to draw Sutherland back, but not quite enough to give him anything to do, nor to provide any other tangible connections to the first film, narratively or visually. Religious imagery and reveries make way for insipid sob stories, and the smoky streets and dark architecture are swapped out for crisp surfaces and vapid digital backdrops.

All this heavy comparison might fool you into thinking I hold the first Flatliners in high esteem. For the record; I don’t. Any interesting concepts are rapidly overridden by hammy performances and Schumacher’s total reliance on imagery over intelligence. This new iteration can barely pretend to offer the former, exhibiting drama as slack as its characters, living or dead.

Thursday, 11 May 2017

'Sleepless' - Review

5/11/2017 12:18:00 pm
'Sleepless' - Review


★ ★ ½ ☆ ☆


The second of this month’s films with an ill-advised and easily mocked title is this middle-of-the-road thriller remake starring Jamie Foxx. Based upon the moderately acclaimed Nuit Blanche¸ Sleepless sees deep cover cop Vincent Downs (Foxx) scouring a Las Vegas hotel in search of his kidnapped son after a drugs theft goes awry. The highly-coveted hoard sees Downs caught between two criminal big shots (Dermot Mulroney and Scoot McNairy) and pursued by plucky internal affairs officer Bryant (Michelle Monaghan).

Foxx gives a very toothy performance here; lots of spitting, gritting and grimacing. Far from the adrenaline-fuelled fear of losing his son, Foxx appears to be in desperate need of root canal. None of that can take away from the fact that we’ve seen him give far better performances in similar fare (and similar roles, come to that), and this inherent goodwill is what ignites the merest semblance of interest in Downs’ story.

Said narrative is bookended efficiently enough (the opening sequence and final showdown are uncomplicated and tightly constructed), but everything in-between is dragged down by more subplots than is good for any thriller. Corruption, double-crosses, underlying father-son troubles; it’s all here. One imagines the filmmakers have pretentions towards something in the vein of Denis Villeneuve’s Sicario, having given the film a faux-Johan Johansson score and a female lead on the tail of corruption, but both fall flat. The music is overbearing in the extreme, and though we’re undeniably more interested in what Monaghan’s getting up to, her character is written laughably thin.

Equally two-dimensional but substantially more fun is McNairy and his array of ball-themed threats. In his quest to appear scary, his slimy baddie employs golf, baseball, human testicles and an oversized grenade launcher that releases huge clouds of white…well, you get the idea.


The other performances aren’t exactly bad, they’re just sort of…there. A single exception is made for Gabrielle Union as Downs’ estranged wife, who is resoundingly poor. Still, the cinematography’s not half bad, while an unnecessary sequel setup raises a titter over an eye-roll. The whole thing seemed to go down rather well with an audience seeking a breather between space-bound superheroes and boss babies.

Wednesday, 12 April 2017

'Ghost in the Shell' - Review

4/12/2017 12:12:00 pm
'Ghost in the Shell' - Review

★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆

“Ramona flowers?” – Two words that entered my mind during Rupert Sanders’ remake of Ghost in the Shell and refused to go away, destroying any remaining chance it had of being taken seriously. Scarlett Johansson’s perfectly arranged bangs and dyed tips echoed the look of Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World’s manic pixie dream girl so irritably that every accusation levelled at the films whitewashing came flooding to the forefront.
First a manga comic, then a critically revered anime, Ghost in the Shell is a story predominantly focused on philosophical themes of humanity, identity and artificiality. Its heroine, Major (played here by Johansson), is a human brain encased in a cyborg body, honed and exploited by a tech corporation in near-future Japan to take down dangerous criminals. In this version, Major begins to question her identity when repressed memories emerge, coinciding with her attempts to apprehend criminal mastermind Kuze (Michael Pitt).
There is no reason whatsoever that a direct live action remake of Mamoru Oshii’s film couldn’t work: it could surpass the odd barrier that some audiences have with anime and possibly make room for more recent developments in the philosophical debate concerning our ever-evolving relationship with technology. To its small credit, this new version does make extraordinary use of contemporary digital animation, recreating the futuristic landscape with aplomb. Cinematographer Jess Hall should be applauded for some truly stellar work, as should composer Clint Mansell…but both deserve to have their work attached to a far better film.
Anyone who’s seen the 1995 animation will be left exasperated by the film’s spoon-feeding approach, and new audiences will gain little they cannot find in other, far worthier films. Screenwriters Jamie Moss, William Wheeler and Ehren Kruger shy away from doing anything that might remotely challenge an audience with the fervour of a vampire shunning daylight. What philosophical statements the film does exude are unoriginal at best, and issued with the grace and volume of a foghorn at worst. “What we do is what defines us”, Major blankly mutters to camera, simultaneously stealing the central thesis of Batman Begins and condemning the film by its own mouth as shallow and second-rate.
Not content with merely turning a treatise on what it means to be human into just another “asset out of containment” thriller, Ghost in the Shell also turns iconic characters into replaceable archetypes. Besides the obvious crime of casting a white woman in a decidedly Asian role, conscripting Johansson as another physically perfect but morally dubious killing machine is a thoroughly uninspired move, and it shows. Pilou Asbæk does what he can as Major’s sidekick, Batou, but is often lost in the scenery. Takeshi Kitano (the one Asian actor in the main cast) brings his usual gravitas despite an underwritten role, but Juliette Binoche (playing the Doctor behind Majors mechanical enhancements) looks plain bored.
In all fairness, I think I’d have given up trying long before her when presented with such a predictable script. Empty platitudes aside, it’s just a bit insulting to have everything laid out so blindingly: for some reason, Batou’s cybernetic eyes have a backstory, and the telepathic communication between augmented humans are directly referred to as “thought-comms”. Those odd, unexplained elements that helped the original stand out have been muted by the heavy-handed exposition one would expect from a prequel, not an outright remake.

The action sequences carry some swirling neon elegance and the overall construction is solid (its vision of the future possibly outstripping the as-yet unreleased Blade Runner 2049), but there’s just no escaping Ghost in the Shell’s unforgivable whitewashing and sheer intellectual bankruptcy. 

Friday, 24 March 2017

'Beauty and the Beast' - Review

3/24/2017 12:04:00 am
'Beauty and the Beast' - Review

★ ★ ★ ½ ☆

Emma Watson and Dan Stevens lead an all-star cast in this live-action remake of Disney’s 1991 animated classic. A smart and impetuous young woman named Belle (Watson) takes her father’s place in the abandoned castle of a hideous beast (Stevens), once a handsome prince punished for his selfishness. Trapped within the confines of the crumbling ruin, Belle befriends the transfigured house staff, slowly coming to discover there’s more to her monstrous captor than meets the eye. Meanwhile the caddish, swashbuckling Gaston (Luke Evans, firing magnificently on all cylinders), along with his infatuated sidekick, LeFou (Josh Gad), schemes to kill the beast and make Belle his wife.

Watson is a stunning Belle. That’s about all I can muster, really. I'd like to think my critical faculties extend beyond inserting several heart-eye emojis, but when Watson first appears it’s as if everything else (crisp faux-period detail, glittering landscapes, even Kevin Kline as Belle’s tender father) leap away at warp factor 9. Watson’s well-read inventor is a tad more outspoken and empowered than previous iterations of the story, and no less in control of the frame, the music, or the romance (and, to the huge relief of Potter fans, her eyebrows).

The photorealistic renderings of our favourite characters are intricately designed, but come off more than a little creepy (Madame Garderobe and her void-like maw, especially…yikes!), even when given such joyous sparkle by Hollywood’s finest: Ewan McGregor as Lumière, the talking candlestick, Ian McKellen as the finest incarnation of Cogsworth, the grumpy clock, and Emma Thompson, who gives reassuring life to Mrs. Potts, the cockney teapot.

It seems odd that such an otherwise tangible and lavishly designed yarn should have frayed digital edges: the Beast in particular feels very much an artificial insertion. Dan Stevens has an astonishing set of pipes on him, but the grumbling voice distortion and lack of physical heft somewhat squash his natural broiling charm. Still, he delivers the same heavy-pawed comedy-catharsis combo we expect; certainly enough to forgive any less-than special effects.

CGI is also used so extensively during the many musical numbers (‘Be Our Guest’ is the biggest offence) to compensate for the colour and flair of the original you wonder why they didn’t remake it into a 3D animation, rather than live action. Likewise, the grand ballroom sequence is a little flat-footed. Lacking the fluid, ground-breaking elements of its animated counterpart and opting instead for a whirling digital lightshow, director Bill Condon’s desire to enthral youngsters of a new generation could mean anti-climax for long-time fans.


Maybe this is a sign that the ‘tale as old as time’ has finally been drained of all invention? Perhaps, but those simply after a good time at the movies won’t be deterred by such a sweet, funny and soulful retelling. The songs, story and characters are pretty much invincible at this point, and to see them all brought to life again by some of cinema’s brightest stars is undeniable fun. Like the recent revivals of Cinderella and The Jungle Book, it shines with the high-tech glimmer of modern filmmaking and attempts to develop some new material: nothing much is lost, but there’s really nothing there that wasn’t there before. 

Friday, 17 March 2017

'Kong: Skull Island' - Review

3/17/2017 09:47:00 am
'Kong: Skull Island' - Review

★ ★ ★ ½ ☆

We wave a cheerful goodbye to awards season and prepare for the imminent onslaught of summer blockbuster season with this, the latest incarnation of King Kong and the second in Warner Bros. monsters shared universe. If even half of the franchise properties headed our way in the coming months are as amiable as this fantastically enjoyable romp, we have little to fear.

Kong: Skull Island leaps a few decades past the usual 1930’s escapades and lands just as the Vietnam War is coming to an end, and so that conflict becomes the metaphor at the heart of the film. A band of US soldiers led by war-starved Colonel Packard (Samuel L. Jackson) and a constantly-sleeveless SAS tracker (Tom Hiddleston) are tasked with protecting a scientific expedition to a hitherto unexplored island in the Pacific. Brie Larson tags along as magazine photographer Mason Weaver (a decent attempt to knock Mark Wahlberg’s Cade Yeager in Transformers from the top spot of dumbest action movie names).

You’ll notice I just sort of stuck Larson on the end there as a footnote but believe me, that’s more appraisal than the film gives her. She’s mostly there to provide (admittedly very convincing) horrified stares and awe-inspired gawping. And, for most of the running time, we’re firmly with her. To use a phrase I promised never to use; this movie is a visual feast. Cinematographer Larry Fong – so usually stuck with adhering to the iron-grey sensibilities of Zack Snyder – makes full use of an eye-piercing colour palette here, creating a myriad of iconic shots that you just want to bathe in. Kong’s silhouette framed against a burning sunset, napalm explosions reflected in a grinning pilot’s aviators and a dozen others that I daren’t spoil ensure this film is at least a stylistic match for Gareth Edwards' Godzilla.

While the first of Warner/Legendary’s series was about the myth and mystery, Skull Island is all about the monsters. Almost no time is wasted on shipping our intrepid cast to the island, where they’re immediately set upon not only by the giant ape, but also by skull-faced lizards, enormous spiders, tree-like carapaces and all manner of creepy crawlies. The enormous success these creatures have on drawing the eye is commendable, not least because they distract from the risible dialogue (poor John Goodman’s professor is dealt a bad hand in expedition exposition from the start).

Luckily, clunky lines are often overridden by thunderous sound design or the music. Henry Jackman’s score plays much like his Captain America: Civil War album on shuffle, but it works fine. His part usually plays second fiddle to the jukebox collection of 60s/70s hits, just in case you forgot the whole thing was a metaphor for Vietnam for two seconds.


The military forces ill-prepared to face a jungle-bound enemy, extensive use of napalm, a sophisticated and resourceful indigenous populace and more (Hiddleston’s character is literally called Conrad, for goodness sake) create an analogy so heavy-handed they may as well have called the movie Viet Kong. But Kong: Skull Island is a film that thrives on lack of subtlety, on creatures and camp and its British hero slicing up giant lizards with a samurai sword. It’s one Wilhelm scream away from a classic.

Friday, 20 January 2017

'Silence' - Review

1/20/2017 12:43:00 pm
'Silence' - Review

★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆

Ambivalence from on high is keenly and coldly felt in this, the new film from Martin Scorsese. In 17th century Japan, a Portuguese priest named Father Ferreira (Liam Neeson, in the second film this week that steals him away from the Taken template) renounces his faith before the Buddhist inquisitors. Refusing to believe the report, Fathers Rodriguez (Andrew Garfield) and Garrupe (Adam Driver) leave immediately for Japan to seek Ferreira and discover the truth, hoping to preach Catholicism as they travel (now is a good time to make your own Apostatise Now joke).

A reference to Coppola’s adaptation of Heart of Darkness sounds flippant, but it’s not entirely wasteful: based on a novel by Shūsaku Endō, Silence is a film concerned primarily with a crisis of faith, with the deconstruction of one’s most closely-held values by a maddening, tortuous odyssey across unyielding pastures in search of a once revered elder. Maddening is the key adjective here, because, for all the striking imagery and heightened sense of desolation, Silence is inherently frustrating in many areas.

It's a very philosophical film in the sense that it provokes an awful lot of deep and searching questions, but never seems particularly interested in finding or offering any answers. As Rodriguez and Garrupe delve further into an increasingly hostile land, all sorts of issues are raised: the morality of imperialism, if the existence of God can ever really be divined, and whether there's any need to spread Christianity when the native population are so entrenched in their Buddhist values (what's the worship of one suffering idol to another?).

Perhaps this stems from the fact I'm not a believer, but the personal religious plights left me oddly unmoved. Certainly the images of the two Padres cowering in firelit caverns are very evocative and the landscapes are astonishingly captured, but from the first frame I felt distanced from any sense of torment or emotional agony. This problem emerges from the film's distinct lack of stylistic verve in other aspects: cinematography asides, the personal drama and even moments of horror are played as implacably as the stone replication of Christ on the cross. Garfield, Driver and Yôsuke Kubozuka (who plays Kichijiro, an eternal sinner who pleads confession to Rodriguez many times) are all exceptional, but there's nothing showy or visceral about their performances. For my money, there's not enough of Driver - who I would have loved to take the central role - but I understand that Garfield has the more marketable credentials (and face).

A traditional score is replaced with ambient birdsong or the creaking of trees, and it's this particular departure from emotional (one might even say manipulative) filmmaking that only served to distance me further. It's a supremely unsettling absence that makes every scene bleed into the next with a lessened sense of dramatic heft. Perhaps I'm too used to having symphonic signposts? The realism of only using diegetic sound is admirable for this kind of story, but, at the end of the day, Scorsese isn't making The Hurt Locker.

With engagement lessened still, my ability to identify with Rodriguez' plight dipped. The absence of God is felt from the very start, as his messengers are killed and his worshippers are tortured, strung up, and left to the mercy of nature. There's no descent for us as there is for Rodriguez, no matter how well Garfield might sell it, and boy does he make a good attempt. As I said, it's not a grandstanding turn, but one of small gestures. When Rodriguez is first confronted by cold, hunger or danger of death, he sits open-limbed, in total faith that whatever his fate, God will provide. When his belief begins to unwind, he starts to retract, to curl up, clutching his arms around his chest because he fears that his own Earthly body is all that's left to protect him.

It's a very earnest display, smattered occasionally with hard cuts to a famous painting of Jesus on the cross, a comparison (or juxtaposition, depending on your own interpretation) that elicited some laughter in the screening, shortly followed by two patrons leaving altogether. While I didn't laugh, I can understand the reaction: moments such as Garrupe diving into the sea to save persecuted believers or a beheading performed by the Japanese grand inquisitor are played with such a straight face that you search for any kind of emotional reaction.

Any catharsis achieved along the way is all to do with anguish, there’s no celebration or even release. Everything slowly grinds to a halt with what must be twenty minutes left to go (or perhaps it felt that long because very little happens, a new narrator is introduced and the once free-flowing story devolves into a sliced-and-diced mess), and I almost found myself getting bored, which is not something you ever expect from a Scorsese film. For all the self-indulgence of The Wolf of Wall Street, I was never fidgeting to keep myself awake.

But all those issues considered, I can't honestly call Silence a bad film. It's beautifully mounted and intelligently conversational, with phenomenal acting... I only hope others found more engagement with its thematic struggle. For those not of a religious persuasion, I fear it's destined to linger long in the mind, but short in the heart.

Monday, 12 September 2016

'Ben-Hur' - Review

9/12/2016 05:04:00 pm
'Ben-Hur' - Review

★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆



Timur Bekmabetov’s palid and plodding retelling of Ben-Hur: A Tale of the Christ stars Jack Huston and Toby Kebbell as former sort-of brothers Judah Ben-Hur and Messala, a Jewish prince and Roman centurion whose friendship is torn asunder when Judah is wrongly accused of treason against his brother’s commanding officer. Sentenced to a life of slavery, Judah begins an odyssey of vengeance from the galley of a Roman warship to the chariot arena of Jerusalem.

As with any remake of a classic, there’s a latchkey point of comparison to which the new entry cannot possibly live up to. In this case, it’s William Wyler's Charlton Heston-led masterpiece from 1959, an incredibly expansive and influential film whose DNA can be seen in everything from the Star Wars prequels to Gladiator and even modern superhero movies. But none of that ingenious influence is present here, only the watered-down genes passed onto neutered offspring. 

Nothing that made that most exceptional of retellings so awesome to behold is enough to captivate a modern audience: what’s a protagonist's 5-year stint away from his family when Gladiator had them strung up and set ablaze before his very eyes? What’s a sand-flecked chariot race when the technical astonishment of The Phantom Menace’s podrace sequence still electrifies? The story of Ben-Hur used to be an event, but this mostly beat-for-beat repetition merely falls in line beside contemporary ill-fated swords and sandals resuscitations such as Clash of the Titans, or Pompeii. 

I say mostly beat-for-beat, because writers Keith R. Clarke and John Ridley do occasionally deviate from previous versions of the story. Rather than complete enslavement to the original tale, they’ve opted for an approach more akin to an exam question: “In your own words, describe the plight of Judah Ben-Hur (12 marks, show your working)”. Messala’s campaign in Germania is explored in a series of gritty flashbacks, Simonides is cut down without a word, and Judah leaves Arrius to drown during the sea battle. A grave error is made in placing the chariot race as the climax and focal point of the film (we begin with the stable gates opening before flashing backwards), and a final, gob-smackingly misguided alteration transforms the very nature of the story from one of vengeance to something completely inert; the end credits music drowned out by a chorus of exasperated sighs and irritated tuts from the audience. 

It’s fair to say that Huston and Kebbell – though undeniably talented – are no match for Heston and Stephen Boyd. The homoerotic subtext written into Wyler’s version (much to the later disdain of Heston) is very much subdued here, and Messala’s decision to leave his would-be brother behind to serve the needs of his Emperor feels forced and sudden. As demonstrated by his star turns in Dawn of the Planet of the Apes and Warcraft, Kebbell works best in showy performances, but here he’s uncomfortably restrained and often looks plain bored. Huston wears his vengeful grumble on his sleeve, though most of the real acting is left to his various tangled wigs. Although, compared to Morgan Freeman as Sheik Ilderim (whose hairdo resembles the alien dreadlocks of the monster in Predator), his turn is positively stellar.

It's also honest to admit that Ben-Hur is not a low-key tale of small movements: whether it's being relayed through Heston's gritted teeth or live horses charging across the stage in an early theatre interpretation, it has always worked on an operatic scale. There are, however, fine-drawn details amongst the monumental, but given that this is the tail end of summer blockbuster season, any trace of subtlety must be cast aside. As such, Christ’s lesser but integral role (in the past depicted with humbling silhouettes and off-camera gestures) is inflated to include Rodrigo Santoro's hunky carpenter quoting word-perfect bible passages with a little pseudo-Yoda observations thrown in for good measure (anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering etc). 

Those guilty of expressing sheer fury at the very idea of this film, perhaps from an idle glimpse of the poster (yours truly included), will be disappointed at the lack of anything to merit such utter disdain than by anything offered by the final product. The lead performances are earnest enough and the special effects are surprisingly CGI-light for a film headed by the director of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, but the visuals are still listless, the score is boring and (despite a running time that barely scrapes two thirds of the ’59 version) it feels far too long. Sitting through to the very end is more chore than challenge.

Friday, 14 August 2015

'Pixels' - Review

8/14/2015 09:43:00 pm
'Pixels' - Review

★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Pixels (based on a short internet film of the same name) depicts the fallout when footage of video games sent into space are misinterpreted by an alien race as a battle challenge. The aliens attack in the form of classic video game characters (realised rather brilliantly by state-of-the-art special effects), and arcade champions Brenner (Adam Sandler), Ludlow (Josh Gad) and Eddie ‘Fireblaster’ (Peter Dinklage) are recruited by Colonel Violet (Michelle Monaghan) to halt the invasion.

Now that’s not too bad of a premise, or at least it would be if the rules of the games were ever properly explained, made any sense, and weren’t just a vehicle to say ‘Ugly, overweight nerds deserve fame and sex because “they’ll appreciate it more”’.

Let’s begin with the honking great elephant in the room: Adam Sandler. Of course, the second he was announced as the lead, we’ve been bombarded with all sorts of articles and think-pieces about how the pride of Manchester, New Hampshire is heralding the end-of-days for cinema. Obviously he is, but in Pixels it’s the character of Sam Brenner, rather than Sandler himself, that is the slimiest element. Within thirty minutes, Brenner has already stolen a jar of money from a child, leered at Monaghan’s backside in plain view of her son, called her a snob for not kissing him and berated a group of soldiers for being ‘a bunch of girls’. Our saviour, everyone!

The remainder of the cast aren’t much to shout about either: Monaghan is drafted in to serve as the lone woman with a voice outside of serving puerile humour, Josh Gad reverts to shrieking when the piecemeal script runs dry (which is a lot), Kevin James is presumably tired from his Paul Blart shenanigans so gives zero effort, and Peter Dinklage is totally, utterly inexcusable. As much as it bothers me how much 80’s nostalgists control our various sources of TV and film, seeing them represented by such a torpid bunch almost makes me feel embarrassed on their behalf. It’s not even real nostalgia: there’s no depth of reflection here, just a group of talentless frauds showing you Pac-man and saying ‘Hey, remember that?!’

Aside from all the anguish the film has already caused to real-life fans of retro arcade games, there’s also additional insult here for people of colour (the only characters in the film captured by the aliens hail from minority backgrounds, and Serena Williams is gifted the horrid celebrity cameo as she is pimped out to Dinklage’s character), for women (the second most active woman on-screen is presented to Ludlow as a literal trophy who cannot speak) and basically for anyone with an ounce of taste. There was even pain reserved for yours truly, when Gad takes a breather from squealing his every line like a stuck pig to sing Tears For Fears’ classic hit ‘Everybody Wants to Rule the World’, thereby ruining my favourite song forever.

I wouldn’t usually resort to such vulgar language, but if Sandler and co. are allowed to sneak slimy ‘humour’ into a supposedly family-friendly film, frankly anything goes: big, sweaty summer blockbuster season blew it’s load early this year, and Pixels is nothing more than the mess left behind, wiped up lazily with cinema tickets then left to fester in screens nationwide.

Saturday, 8 August 2015

'Fantastic Four' - Review

8/08/2015 11:13:00 pm
'Fantastic Four' - Review

★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Quite possibly the worst thing a film can do to you is betray you. Now I know that sounds like hyperbole, but despite the large and varied prejudices aimed at Fantastic Four – Marvel’s latest re-working of their classic comic book series – I entered the cinema truly wanting to be the dissident, the lone voice who found something of a gem within a troubled eventuality. Alas, my hopes were slowly but surely turned to ash as a laborious and suffocated production dragged itself across the screen.

The story will be somewhat familiar to anyone who knows the original comic, but for those who don’t: aspiring scientist Reed Richards (Miles Teller) creates a device capable of inter-dimensional travel and is hired by Dr. Franklin Storm (Reg E. Cathey in permanent motivational speech mode) to help develop the machine for NASA. Richards and his companions Johnny Storm, Victor Von Doom and childhood friend Ben Grimm (Michael B. Jordan, Toby Kebbell and Jamie Bell respectively) take a journey to another dimension but are ravaged by cosmic radiation, as is Franklin’s daughter Sue (Kate Mara) when the capsule returns to Earth. Whilst Victor is left behind, the remaining four friends wrestle with strange and powerful new abilities.

The tiny spark of a good idea that I wanted to be much larger manifests itself here in two forms: for one, the opening thirty minutes is mostly character building; developing the dynamic between the young scientists and exuding an Interstellar-like ‘shoot for the moon’ attitude, a hope that extraordinary discovery is just beyond the horizon. Weirdly, the second is a complete clash with this wide-eyed optimism, and appears when the group return from the alien world. Their new powers – far from wowing them or enthusing them to reach for new heights – hurt and traumatise our young heroes, presenting their mutations as a Croenenbergian body horror nightmare.

Sadly, the compromised nature of the film (supposed falling out between the director and the studio, extensive re-shoots, re-workings of the script to name but a few) means that any initial promise is cruelly snuffed out. This is surely a case of the ‘making of’ being a more interesting, exciting and funny final product than the joyless feature it produced.

While at least Teller and Jordan appear to be enjoying themselves, everyone else on screen slips into a stupor by the 40-minute mark, so the promised depth of character and narrative plods to a standstill. One can only imagine how/if the original second half might have saved the project, but for now we’re dealt a clear point where Trank’s film ends and the studio re-shoots begin. The final act is rushed forcibly into empty and unfulfilling action sequences with lumpen dialogue, a cliché villain and super-powers that are arbitrarily introduced when required for the plot and never properly explained.

So those who come for the story will be bored, those who come for action will feel cheated, and God only knows how lovers of the comic must be feeling. I’m never usually lenient on comic fans when it comes to film adaptations (believing that a movie has to stand up on its own terms), but this is something else. Fantastic Four was a chance to heal a wound in Marvel’s movie history, a delicate operation that unfortunately fumbled the scalpel and lobotomised the patient.

Monday, 26 January 2015

'The Gambler' - Review

1/26/2015 01:45:00 pm
'The Gambler' - Review
Ostensibly a remake of the 1974 thriller starring James Caan, The Gambler stars Mark Wahlberg as Jim Bennett, a compulsive gambler and literature professor forced to borrow money from his mother (Jessica Lange) and a shady loan shark (John Goodman) when his situation becomes a matter of life and death, all the while struggling with a developing relationship with one of his students (Brie Larson).

Whilst failing on many levels to reach the cult status of the original, the remake is slicker and much better looking; there is a nice juxtaposition between the uninviting grey exteriors and the warm, welcoming interiors of casinos and smoke-choked bars. The soundtrack has been given a rollicking update, most notably a very enjoyable use of M83 towards the very end, whilst the editing is appropriately smoother.


One would imagine (with his face plastered all over the posters) that Mark Wahlberg would be the performance to sing about, but this really isn’t the case. While he’s busy being an even less convincing English teacher than he was a madcap inventor in Transformers: Age of Extinction, Jessica Lange is stealing the show as the scathingly disapproving mother constantly delivering ultimatums to her son who seems unable to stop throwing his money away. John Goodman is also an enjoyable presence as the Jabba-like loan shark whose blubbery form casts another shadow over Wahlberg’s performance.

Brie Larson is saddled with the ‘redemptive lover’ role which gives her very little to do, and again raises the question about why we should even care about Bennett in the first place: this is a man who spends his daylight hours leaping around a lecture theatre preaching to his students whilst using the cover of night to burn his wealth and relationships to the ground. In the end, Wahlberg has fallen into a role which feels sadly replaceable, despite being scripted by The Departed writer William Monahan who gave us the former’s most radical screen role.


It’s neither an incredibly intelligent nor particularly inventive upgrade but it is at least smart enough to realise that you don’t care enough about the protagonist to warrant a heart-racing climax but a simple and satisfying conclusion. Despite the heavily flawed central performance and the flat script there’s enough technically accomplished, B-movie thrills to provide a passable, throwaway update.

★★★☆☆

Monday, 2 June 2014

'Maleficent' - Review

6/02/2014 04:03:00 pm
'Maleficent' - Review


A re-invention of the classic Sleeping Beauty, Disney’s new film Maleficent attempts to shed new light on the eponymous dark fairy, and how the tale has been told wrong all these years. After her supposed true love Stefan (Sharlto Copley) betrays her in exchange for the throne of the kingdom, Maleficent (Angelina Jolie) is left wingless and heartbroken, vowing revenge by planting a curse on his first-born daughter which only true loves kiss can revoke.

The most notable feature of the film is that it has clearly been made with the best of intentions: the film-makers have done their best to try and re-invent the story for a new generation, but this is also its biggest problem. The 1959 original was memorable, and for its few flaws it managed to tell a coherent story with diverse characters and gorgeous animation, and Maleficent sadly has none of that. It just cannot decide what it wants to be, whether it’s a dark origins story, the ‘other side’ of the story, or a complete re-telling. It can’t even work out what tone it wants to set, meandering between sickly colourful and darkly gothic from scene to scene.




Where the film truly shines is Angelina Jolie, who throws herself into the role and strikes a perfect balance between the malevolent cackling of the original character and the mystified, aimlessly wandering incarnation of the new story. Copley adds a level of grumbling malice as King Stefan, and the three fairies (brought to life in a mixture of live action and computerised motion-capture by Imelda Staunton, Juno temple and Lesley Manville) come packed with a few laughs here or there, even if their scenes descend mostly into leftover skits from The Three Stooges. 

Other pieces of the film that work in its favour are, ironically, the ones that directly reference or pay homage to the original, from Maleficents’ first appearance during the christening or Aurora meeting the prince for the first time. This care and attention sadly does not stretch to the wondrous strings of ‘Once Upon a Dream’ which are held back until the end credits and warbled rather drearily by Lana Del Rey. The climax, in its attempt to bring something new to the story sadly wallows in the predictable and relies heavily on CGI that any competent studio could have thrown together, a far cry from the lavish colours of the original.

Feeling anti-climactic and undecided, Maleficent is not a terrible film, for there are certain pleasure to be had within its 97-minute running time, but as a supposed re-invention of a classic story it feels terribly mediocre, and that’s just not something you expect from Disney. The magic is there, but its stifled beneath a film that veers from interesting to boring, engagingly dark and cringe-inducingly twee. 


2.5 Stars